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Dr. Eggman and the Badniks
Neverland is a small island and one the sea was a lonely pirate ship and we hear singing going on there. We zoom in on the ship and see Dr. Eggman's badniks set up a flag of the Jolly Roger on the mast. Badniks: Oh a badnik's life is a wonderful life A-rovin' over the sea Give me a career as a robotic servant It's the life of a badnik for me Oh, the life of a badnik for me Some badniks are playing with darts on a picture of a crude drawing of Dr. Eggman on a door. Badniks: Oh, a badnik's life is a wonderful life They never bury your bones For when it's all over A jolly sea rover drops in on his friend Neo Cortex Just about then, the door opened and two figures came out. One of them was a silver mechanical chicken with red tail feathers, a black mechanical feather chest, yellow legs, a yellow beak, and a gray body only wearing a belt. His name was Scratch. The other figure was robot that was green with a yellow collar, a screw for a belly, an antenna on his back, a drill for hands and a nose, and tank wheels. His name was Grounder, Scratch's "twin" brother. Scratch, Grounder, and Badniks: Oh, my good friend Neo Cortex "Good morning, ship mates." Scratch and Grounder said in unison only to get caught by Humpty. "And what's good about it, Scratch and Grounder?" asked Humpty. "Here we are collecting barnacles on this miserable island!" Arms said. "While his nibs plays ring-around-the rosy with Knuckles the Echidna." Dynamight said sticking his gun at Grounder. "Look out there. Might go off!" Grounder panicked, but he and Scratch got their necks in rope knots by Frankly. "We ought to be tending to the business of looting ships." Frankly said. "Why, I've almost forgotten how to slit a throat." Sir Ffuzzy-Logik said, using his dagger and got Scratch and Grounder free. "Better drop it." Skweel said as they all threw daggers at the stairs as Scratch and Grounder tried to avoid them. "And tell the captain we want to put to sea, boys!" Arms said. All the badniks laughed as Scratch and Grounder stuck out their tongues and walked away. A fat man with a hooked pink nose, mahogany mustache and hair, and blue eyes, wearing a pair of pince-nez glasses with blue tinted lenses, a red jacket with a golden wrist button, a small yellow cape with triangular collars stretching down to the edge of his pants in the front, black form-fitting one-piece pants, and matching boots with two silver buttons in the front was looking at a map. He is Dr. Ivo Julian Robotnik/Eggman. He had one of his hands cut off by Knuckles and now has a silver hook and now he want revenge. "Blast that Knuckles the Echidna!" Eggman snarled. "If I could only find his hideout, I'd trap him in his lair. But where is it?" He starts to look at the map "Mermaid lagoon? No, we searched that. We've combed Cannibal Cove. But here!" He stuck his silver hook at the far north west on the map but then groaned "No, no, no, no. That's Indian territ… But wait…" he took a good closer at the map "Those Mobians know this island better than I do me own ship. Ah, I wonder…" At that moment, Scratch and Grounder walked in. "Good morning, captain." "I'VE GOT IT!" Eggman cheered as he grabbed Scratch and Grounder with his hook pulled them closer. "Sonia the Hedgehog, Scratch and Grounder!" "S-S-Sonia the H-H-Hedgehog, Your Rottenness?" Scratch asked, very afraid. "The Oracle of Delphius's niece!" Eggman said, "She'll know where Knuckles is hiding." "B-B-But-But will she talk, Your Sneakiness?" asked Grounder as Eggman let go. "Oh, a little persuasion might be in order. Now let me see. Boiling in oil? Uh, keelhauling? Marooning?" Eggman said as he thought as another badnik named Davy Sprocket was singing horribly with his accordion. Davy Sprocket: Oh, a badnik's life Is a wonderful life You'll find adventure and sport But live every minute For all that is in it The life of a badnik is short Oh, the life Having enough of his singing, Eggman got out a gun and aimed it. As Scratch and Grounder got the shaving pack ready, the shot was heard and Scratch and Grounder heard a accordion fall and splashed in the water. Scratch took a look only to get splashed in the face. Grounder laughed at this, thinking it was funny. Eggman put away his gun. "Now let me see, where was I?" asked Eggman. "Oh dear, dear, dear Dr. Eggman. Shooting a robot in the middle of his cadenza? It ain't good form, you know." Scratch said. "Good form, Scratch?" asked Eggman in a smooth voice first, and then yell angrily as he pushed the table aside and approached Scratch and Grounder and waving his hook. "BLAST GOOD FORM! DID KNUCKLES SHOW GOOD FORM WHEN HE DID THIS TO ME?!" "Why Your Wickedness, cutting your hand off was only a childish prank you might say." Grounder said as he removed Eggman's cape. "Aye, but throwing it to Vector the Crocodile! That cursed beast liked the taste of me so well he's followed me ever since licking his chops for the rest of me!" Eggman said loudly at first and then said in a low voice as he sat down in the chair which Scratch brought. "And he's had you by now, Your Meanness, if he hadn't swallowed that alarm clock. But now when he's about, he warns you, as you might say with his tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock." Scratch said. Speaking off tick-tock, there was a sound of tick-tocking heard. Scratch, Grounder, and Eggman heard it. Eggman's face was in fear. There below his ship was a green crocodile with a yellow snout, chest, stomach, and bottom of his tail, wearing white gloves, yellow and black headphones with a cord to a grey walkman, yellow belts, and black shoes with yellow zip-cuffs named Vector. "Well, what do we have here, now?" Vector said, "It's the delicious, yummy Dr. Eggman. I'm going to eat him!" When he saw Eggman, the crocodile licked his mouth, hungry for a human. Eggman screamed. "CRATCH! GROUNDER!" He screamed as he leapt into Grounder's arms "Oh, save me, Scratch! Please don't let him get me, Grounder! Please! Don't let him get me, Scratch! Grounder!" He hid behind a chair while Scratch and Grounder went to Vector. "Here now, shame on you, upsetting the poor doctor." Grounder scolded, "There'll be no handouts today." "Oh, come on, Scratch and Grounder!" Vector pleaded, "May I please eat Eggman just one bite?" "No," replied Scratch. And Grounder said, "Shoo now, shoo. Go on, go on. Off with you, I say. Go away. Go away, out of here!" And as they said that, Vector went away. "Oh, well!" he sighed, "I'll eat him next time." Eggman appeared from behind the sheet of the chair. "I-I-Is he gone, Scratch and Grounder?" he said in a scared voice. "Aye, Your Wretchedness. All clear. Nothing to worry about." Grounder said as he tried to relax his shaking captain. "Oh, Scratch, Grounder. I can't stand it any longer. I tell you I can't!" Eggman said as Grounder sat him down on the chair. "Now, now, now, Your Selfishness, just relax. What you need is a shave, a nice soothing shave. There now" Grounder said as he put a towel around Eggman's head. The doctor sighed. A seagull saw the towel and sat on it and fell asleep as Scratch and Grounder sang. Scratch and Grounder: A badnik's life is a wonderful life a-sailing over the seas Give us a career as buc… Grounder didn't see that he was putting shaving cream on the seagull's bottom. "Doctor, you know, I can't help noticing you just aunt been your usual jolly self of late." Scratch picked up a razor and wiped it on a towel. Scratch and Grounder: Give us a career as buccaneers… "And the crew's getting? a might uneasy, Captain. That is, what's left of it. Hmm." Grounder was using the razor on the seagull's bottom and it wiped out her feathers. "Now why don't we put to sea, see? Leave Neverland. Forget Knuckles the Echidna. There now!" he put some aftershave on the seagull's bottom. The seagull woke up and in horror, flew away covering her behind. Scratch and Grounder didn't see her go because they was putting some powder on their hands. Scratch and Grounder: Give us a career as buccaneers… "We'll all be a lot happier," Scratch smiled. "Not to mention a lot healthier. Oh!" He and Grounder put their hands out only to find out they were doing it in mid air. "Doctor?" cried Scratch and Grounder in unison. "Oh dear!" said a worried Scratch, "Neither one of us has ever shaved him this close before." Neither one ever dared to look, so grounder didn't to look for it under the chair. "Don't worry doctor," he said, "It must be somewhere about." He began to walk off with the chair carrying him. The towel fell from Eggman's face and he looked down to see Grounder making a fool of himself crawling to find something. "Get up, you dumbot!" Eggman snapped. "Aye, aye, sir!" Grounder said knocking the chair and Eggman to one side of the ship. He and Scratch turned around to see him dazed. "Oh, we found it, Your Meanness." Scratch cheered, "Good as new." He and Grounder tried to pull his head off only for Eggman to wake up very angry. "Why, you blithering nincombots!" Eggman cried, as he held Scratch and Grounder by their necks and was about to kill them when… "Knuckles the Echidna, ahoy!" Dragonbreath called from the watcher. "What? What? Where away?" Eggman asked. "Three points off the starboard bow!" Sir Ffuzzy-Logik called. Eggman looked through his telescope and saw Knuckles with Amy, Tails, and Charmy. "Swoggle me eyes, it is Knuckles! Headed this way with his girlfriend and her brothers! Scratch and Grounder, pipe up the crew!" "Aye, aye, sir! Pipe up the crew! Pipe up the crew! All hands on deck!" Scratch and Grounder said in unison as Grounder whistled "All hands on deck! All hands on deck! All hands on deck!" All the badniks rose up and got into action. "Look alive, you swabs! We've got him this time, Scratch and Grounder!" He said as he put on his yellow coat. "That we have, captain." Eggman called to his henchmen. "Man the Long Tom, you bilge rats!" He went to Scratch and Grounder and put on his red hat with a giant dark yellow feather stuck in a blue rim band. "I've waited years for this." "That's not counting the holidays, either." Scratch said. "Double the powder and shorten the fuse!" Eggman ordered as Frankly and Skweel got the cannon ready. "Double the powder and shorten the fuse!" Grounder repeated. "A pretty sight, Scratch and Grounder. Like sitting ducks. All right, men! Range: 42!" Eggman said as he used his telescope to pin point Knuckles, Amy, Tails, and Charmy on a cloud viewing Neverland. "Range: 42!" Scratch and Grounder said. "Elevation: 65!" Eggman ordered as Scratch and Grounder repeated after him. "Three degrees west!" Scratch and Grounder repeated again. "Steady now!" This time, neither Scratch nor Grounder repeated. They covered their ears and shut their eyes real tight. "Steady!" Category:Fan Fiction